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In the West it was Carl Jung who really opened up the notion of the individual having these two male and female poles inside us. He called them the Animus and the Anima – the inner male and the inner female. A healthy life is about maintaining a balance between them.

So if you are a male your essence is in the female, if you’re a female your essence is in the male.
That’s why you are attracted to it in the outer world, because you are trying to grasp that internally. That’s why when you make deep passionate love with the opposite sex you want to merge and become one with your lover.
Energetically this often happens right after you finish making physical love and you’re laying peacefully together basking in the energetic exchange. You often loose awareness of your separate identity and merge with your lover. Physically of course this is not possible even though every atom of our existence longs for it.

What do I mean by your inner essence is the opposite?
We all have an outer changing essence, but what is stabilizing you is this inner opposite complimentary essence. Just like Yin and Yang need each other in order to form a whole.
You are existing here in the physical manifested world as one polarity in either a physically sexed male or female body. But what is really stabilizing and holding you in the whole, is this inner opposite, complimentary essence.
Even though you may find someone of the opposite sex to stabilize that, you go into a relationship, it feels like its balancing you out.
But it is not really balancing you out until you have internalized it. This is the key and the hidden purpose of all relationships, to unfold what’s unconscious deep inside of you. It’s putting you in a space where you can learn.
The relationship holds a stable outer space. This is what relationships are really about, it’s holding a stable outer space so you may receive teachings from your partner, or from anybody that you’re in relationship with.

So, if you are a male, until you find the inner female, and if you are a female until you find the inner male, you soul will not feel complete. You will continue seeking. And you will never find it.
This inner marriage happens deep in your energetic core channel in the body, and just like in an outer relationship in the physical plane, the result is often a child.
In the deeper dimensions within you, it’s the same, but this time you are birthing the original spirit, the hidden third stabilizing stream of the life force. This is the hidden meaning behind what Jesus said:
“Unless you become as a little child you will not enter the kingdom of heaven.” Heaven here is a code word for unity consciousness.
There are always three streams to the life force. Expanding is the Yang force, contracting is the Yin force and the hidden third force which is stabilizing both. Without this hidden third force, which actually births Yin and Yang, life would not exist. It’s never two forces, whenever you have two, there is always three.

The longer you are in a conscious relationship the more this invisible force, this stabilizing original energy will arise out of the coupling of your attraction. This is happening as long as you keep a very strong polarity between you.
And this is what happens in the inner alchemy practice. You bring the inner soul forces together in your central channel; you open up an inner portal to the original energy, the original spirit, that part of us that exists beyond time, beyond conditioning, beyond karma.
You begin to birth this original spirit into manifestation within your healed soul and energy body. Over time you will gradually shift your identity from this outer sexed body and personality and all its drama to this inner essence that is beyong Yin and Yang.
Your physical body stays sexed of course and the energy level increases substantialy, but the internal driving force, this very powerful soul longing for the opposite starts to calm down inside of you.
Your energy body now has access to the stabilizing original spirit; you have in effect started to heal your longing and hunger. The result is: you become far more relaxed and peaceful inside through this deep healing soul practice.