The hardest moment in an inner transformation crisis is when we are face to face with what we’ve already created. We start to realize that it is our creation and we are put in front of a dilemma: do I give up on what I’ve created up until now and start anew? Do I try to repair it from a new avenue of understanding of reality? No matter what the answer is, a new path cannot be created until we accept responsibility for our old creation. Only a Creator can un-make what was made. If we project responsibility on anyone else, then that reality cannot be transformed. Any fight for change will end in reinforcing the particular reality.
This creates an inner conflict that is common for many people who have chosen the path of transformation. Some cannot renounce at their old ways, and what they’ve created, even if those old patterns bring suffering. They prefer to live in pain instead of changing. It is the fear of non-identity. “If I am not who I was and my life is not as it was, then who am I and what will I become?” the Ego prefers the comfort zone of a painful identity rather than changing. The Ego fears change as it fears death, dissolution.
Others perceive the truth: the crisis is caused by their own identities, roles and limited beliefs based on self and world judgement, on fear and on the projection of responsibilities. They comprehend that the only sense of human existence is transcendence. Some choose to leave behind the old ways and a wider identity, in which “we” replaces the “I”, sometimes in the scale of humanity as a whole. They are few. The wider and more refined the experiences of these few people are, the more the conflicts and contradictions become even bigger in the heart of our humanity as a whole, and the crisis accentuates. Seen on television, humanity seems on the road to inner collapse. Seen from the within humanity’s profound Consciousness, this extraordinary adventure of self-discovery from a personal, collective and global scale is dramatic but filled with splendor.
The inner convulsions of the great being called humanity inspires something heroic and archetypal. Though fall and glory are always possible. Nothing is guaranteed, nothing is written in stone. Just as life is.
I personaly believe that every human counts, that each human experience that finds full conscious resolution changes something. The energy of each o us matters in the great global equation in each moment.
How open am I in this moment, so that I can feel and accept the whole of Creation? Each conscious inspiration is healing something of Humanity. What do I exhale in this moment as thoughts, emotion, energy and gestures in this world? Each exhale and each blink of the eye bears the mark of what I am in this moment and is my contribution to the collective space of experience of the whole.